Arya Samaj

Shyena · Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 8:03 pm Post subject:

Remember this, that this is supposed to be during the time of satya yuga - back when people were supposed to have lived upto 400 years...
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Krinvanto Vishwam Aryam meditate

Namaste

Sunita · Arya Ladies Forum Moderator Joined: 24 May 2006 Posts: 567

Shishya,

As a mother, i cannot bare the thought of a daughter, age 24 being married to a 46 year old man. Sure men take a bit longer to mature.....who has to be perfect?

What happened to the wife when the man dies at age 60? She has to give up Grihastra? What about the ability to keep up with the sexual part of the relationship? A 24 year old woman have a higher need for these things.....its hard to control feelings....a 46 year old man would not be able to satisfy that need.

What are the chances of males and females in North America attending gurukula and understand the vedas and mature and ready to get married at a later age.

running late.g2g.later.
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Namaste!

(1) If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it. William Arthur Ward

(2) The self is not something ready-made, but something in continuous formation through choice of action.John Dewey:

(3) Andre Gide: Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it.

Shishya · Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 11:04 pm Post subject:

Namaste Sunita,

First, this isn't a hard and fast rule. It is mentioned by Swamiji as being the ideal we should aim for.

Second, premature death can happen at any age - that's why it's called 'premature'. Wink

Third, you seem to place fulfilling 'sexual needs' very high on a woman's list of priorities in life. The ideal - for both men and women - is brahmacharya, even while married. Yes, controlling desire can be difficult. But that is part of the spiritual path.

After all, 45 is not that old, folks. I'll be 30 next year, and I'm still kicking. Laughing

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Namaste,

Shishya
ॐ

ॐ सह नावतु । सह तौ भुनक्तु । सह वीर्यं करवावहै । तेजस्वि नावधीतमस्तु मा विद्विषावहै ॥
"Together may we be protected. Together may we be profited. Together may we do a hero's work. May we learn intelligently. May we never hate one another."
-Brihadaranyaka & Taittiriya Upanishads

Prabhat · Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 1:02 am Post subject:

Shishya · Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 2:08 am Post subject:

Namaste Mitra Ji,

Sunita · Arya Ladies Forum Moderator Joined: 24 May 2006 Posts: 567

True say Bhaiji's and behen Mitraji.

Personal question for shishya.

Why did u marry at age 21 or 22? Why didn't u wait? Was your marriage love or arranged?

You seem like a very dedicated arya.....very mature and intelligent. Why did u gave Brahmachariya up so early? U couldn't wait!
_________________
Namaste!

(1) If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it. William Arthur Ward

(2) The self is not something ready-made, but something in continuous formation through choice of action.John Dewey:

(3) Andre Gide: Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it.

Sunita · Arya Ladies Forum Moderator Joined: 24 May 2006 Posts: 567

Shishya · Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 4:13 am Post subject:

Namaste Sunita,

I was 23 when I got married - to a woman I love, I'm happy to add. However, it was not an issue of being 'unable to control my sexual urges', if that's what you're implying. And - I repeat - brahmacharya does not necessarily end with marriage. Gandhi, even after fathering several children, continued to practice brahmacharya until the day he died.

Yes, you are free to do all the research you want. If a man lives a healthy lifestyle, there is no reason why he should not remain fit well into his 70's, if not beyond. Charlie Chaplin was 73 when his last child was born.

P.S.: 'Oprah' is not exactly the best place to get your information. Wink

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Namaste,

Shishya
ॐ

ॐ सह नावतु । सह तौ भुनक्तु । सह वीर्यं करवावहै । तेजस्वि नावधीतमस्तु मा विद्विषावहै ॥
"Together may we be protected. Together may we be profited. Together may we do a hero's work. May we learn intelligently. May we never hate one another."
-Brihadaranyaka & Taittiriya Upanishads

Ayush · Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 9:49 am Post subject:

I get to rant too.

[rant]
In my opinion, Oprah Winfrey is another crazy feminist who likes to talk nonsense.
"The entire world is against females"
HALF THE WORLD IS FEMALES!

I'm 21 years old and I do not understand love or marriage. All I understand is lust and reproduction.
I'm NOT too proud of it, but thats just how it is.
The funny thing is that my goal in life is to be completely celibate. Not because I'm a saint, but because I do not want the responsibility of a wife and kids. EVER.
I just wish they had some kind of a pill called the 'Induced Celibacy Pill' or something like that. The exact opposite of Viagra.

If you go back to the 1920s and since then consider how the fashion trends have changed and people's clothes have changed, you'll find that as far as males' clothes are concerned, only the fabric has changed. But if you want to talk about females' clothes, the fabric has changed but apart from that, the clothes keep getting shorter and tighter with each passing decade.

And then girls want to act like they don't like it when boys look at them. We cannot see something you're not showing! Its not like we have x-rays vision or something. If you're going to wear tight low rise jeans and other similar things, you're going to get started at! Get over it.
[/rant]

But in all seriousness, marriage has nothing to do with "love". Marriage always was a contract between a man and woman to live together, make babies together and raise them together. Thats what it always was and thats what it always will be. Nothing more.
Like I said, I don't understand the whole "girl-boy love" thing.

Shyena · Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 11:27 am Post subject:

Namaste,
Lol to a minor this thread now surely seems hilarious Razz

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Krinvanto Vishwam Aryam meditate

Namaste

Sunita · Arya Ladies Forum Moderator Joined: 24 May 2006 Posts: 567

Sunita · Arya Ladies Forum Moderator Joined: 24 May 2006 Posts: 567

Ayush,

U r a sexist bhai. Go on Oprah and tell her what u said in your last post. I would love to take the challenge with u live in harpo studios..

So what if female wears less clothes than the 1900's? Global Warming!!!! r u sleeping? just kidding!
_________________
Namaste!

(1) If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it. William Arthur Ward

(2) The self is not something ready-made, but something in continuous formation through choice of action.John Dewey:

(3) Andre Gide: Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it.

Ayush · Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 7:08 pm Post subject:

^ A sexist is a person who discriminates based on gender.
I don't.

Mitra · Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 8:19 pm Post subject:

Devo · Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 9:09 pm Post subject:

Moderator's Note: Please try to stay on topic.

All irrelevant comments will be edited/deleted if necessary.

Ayush · Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 11:59 pm Post subject:

Mitra · Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 12:24 am Post subject:

Modesty in appearance is definitely desirable. I am not supporting skimpy clothes. What I am saying is from what I know every woman faces - The most traditionally/conservatively dressed female also has to face everything from 'looks' to outright assaults. So our attitude towards women counts a lot if not more than the way the woman is dressed .

Sunita · Arya Ladies Forum Moderator Joined: 24 May 2006 Posts: 567

Ayush

I am sure someday u will fall in love with a woman who takes your breath away...... Boy, u will get caught up in the emotions.....u yourself will be surprised.

There is love in marriages. It might not be romantic passionate like the first year but its enough to keep u going for a lifetime. So i do believe in love marriages. Its really not for procreation. Spending my life with my kids means so much to me.....i won't trade it for anything else.

Our mother is our first god....our first teacher.

Shyena · Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 2:44 pm Post subject:

Sunita ji, calm down. None of us feel it is ridiculing you or anything as such Smile

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Krinvanto Vishwam Aryam meditate

Namaste

Shishya · Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 4:18 pm Post subject:

ADMINISTRATOR'S NOTE: This thread was split from a discussion on Age Disparity in Marriage. The discussion went off-topic and became rather heated, so a split was deemed necessary. I would like to remind all participants that we all have a right to our personal views, and are welcome to discuss them as long as we do not try and push them on others or become overly defensive when they are questioned.

Mitra · Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 8:49 pm Post subject:

I hope Sunita stays on posting here. She is one of the more free-spirited persons here with her take on everything.
Dont take it too personal Sunita Ji,
everyones posts have been deleted or edited. Come on its just a forum.

And I totally understand when she is so furious with Ayush's post because I am too. Yes Ayush , you do not make yourself clear as to how you respect women when you post such a rant . We can perceive what is respectable and honorable instinctively.

And why does attitude of men towards women matter? Why did I say that what brain thinks is more important than what the eyes see? Because I know that inspite of not 'showing' anything ,inspite of being the most innocent even kids become objects of lechery . Try telling me that it is the kids fault here.

Ayush · Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 11:54 pm Post subject:

My original post was perhaps, uncalled for. On the other forums I'm on, people don't really take thing said under [rant] and [/rant] too seriously. I just assumed that would be the case with this forum too.

I regret making that post. I apologize if I offended anyone. That was not my intention.
However, I stand by everything I said in my original post.

Mitra · Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 12:08 am Post subject:

I disagree with you only on two points.
I gave the example of kids exploited because it shows that the mind and the way it thinks is more important than what you see.
The mind should rule your senses not the other way round.
So you always have the option of averting your eyes if that is what your mind decides.

What women have in their minds is to be able to look as beautiful as they are , not to seduce - but because it is what they are, for themselves. They should be allowed the space to exist without feeling threatened by looks and stares.

Second, Today you are saying the way women dress is provocative but till a few decades ago even the sight of women was considered indecent and women were barred from a public life. But people had to learn to live with the sight of women running to catch a bus or working in the fields.

And who decides what is modest enough? Or should we adopt the taliban style and police the streets to see no women dares to dress in something that shows even an ankle. Why even the pauranics said women are the gateway to hell because they tempt men to a life of bondage. Its all women's fault ,is that what you are saying?
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Namaste
Manurbhava

Ayush · Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 10:30 am Post subject: