Arya Samaj

Sunita · Arya Ladies Forum Moderator Joined: 24 May 2006 Posts: 567

A Hindu girl fed up with Hindu girls!

by: Nidhi Bhatia

I am a Hindu girl, an extremely proud Hindu girl that takes pride in the preservation of my self-respect and dignity. So, that means following a moral Hindu path. An easy escape route for some Hindus is that their parents never taught them about their culture and religion, so they can't be blamed for anything they do. I brought this excuse for many years, and blamed the parents. Then I thought about myself, and how I could also have taken refuge in this excuse. But how is it that I grew up to respect my religion and respect myself? I now think that everybody is responsible for their own actions, and there is no use blaming your parents or anyone else.

My local Mandir (in Slough) was one of the first places that I saw certain Hindu girls who walked with a desperate sway and a desperate glare in their eyes, searching for the next best 'talent'. I would wonder why girls would dress like they're attending their own wedding, while coming to a place of worship.

The guys would in return attend the big calendar occasions and even those who were not Hindu would make a show, with their jeans worn from the knees down and get a special haircut just for that day. They would walk in with a tub of gel on their hair, with a limp and stood in crowds, checking out girls, getting into staring matches with other guys and desperately trying to look cool.

It would make a perfect theatre show; the girls were the Damsel in distress and the guys, their hero coming to rescue them. This exact scene has been transported to every day life, at uni, on the train and at the shopping centres.

A lot of sleazy Indian guys, as well as guys from other backgrounds think that if some Hindu girls are 'loose' then that means they all must have a genetic defect and so, 'I can have any one I want'. When I'm travelling or shopping etc, I find it insulting that so many guys feel they can give me sleazy looks and gestures.

It's not like it's difficult to recognise a loose girl. The ironed hair that covers one half of the face, the squinted eyes that are meant to represent that they're gorgeous and in demand, the skin tight clothes and the, 'I'm a helpless girl that needs rescuing' sway. And is it just me, or can these girls not have a conversation with a guy without giggling? A message to these girls, 'not all of us girls want to compete for brainless fools of the highest order'.

Not only are these girls insulting the name of our religion and culture, but also in the process insult the feminine aspect of our religion. The respect that our Goddesses and female saints command, and respect that women have commanded in our culture has been of massive inspiration to me and many Hindu women across the world, and these girls are an insult to such a noble tradition.

http://www.hinduvoice.co.uk/Issues/14/girlthing.htm
_________________
Namaste!

(1) If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it. William Arthur Ward

(2) The self is not something ready-made, but something in continuous formation through choice of action.John Dewey:

(3) Andre Gide: Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it.

Ayush · Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 10:08 am Post subject:

The girl who wrote this article is a bloody tool. She needs to start minding her own business. She hates those people. And I bet those people hate people like her who just can't stop judging.

This female obviously needs some education. Whats wrong with going to a temple in Jeans?
If you look at it from an Arya Samaji point of view, temples are just buildings constructed by man. Nothing more. Idolatry is for fools.
And even if she likes going to a temple and believes in Idol worship, what makes her think that she's going to please God by dressing in "traditional" clothes? Why would God care about what you wear?

People like me are actually fed up of judgmental hypocritical idiots like her. We have a lot of them here in India.

Mitra · Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 6:30 am Post subject:

Namaste Devo,
When will the Moderator please step in ? Language not befitting the forum's decorum going around....whats a tool? ( typo? ) and why that adjective before that?

Guys get a grip on that aggro...I believe we can communicate at a more homo sapien level than rant.

I would say it is not just in UK but anywhere in the world that this behaviour is seen socially among adoloscents , sorry to say even in the mandirs in India - Arya Samaji or Pauranic. Most of the films in India show guys stalking girls in the mandirs - atleast the Southie ones. They are respectable watering holes where the humans gather...if I may put it so...

How do we have to live with it...I think provide a dignified way in which young people can meet and interact in a way that fosters a healthy respect for each other and build self esteem in both girls and the guys . A atmosphere full of suspicion from the elders is certainly not going to help. A friendly and skillful leadership in the mandir could channel all that electricity into something healthy and fun.

I hear many of my friends saying they met their husband / fiance/ partners at the Bible study groups or churches . I always thought thats how people get to meet suitable partners in christian/western communities where the parents dont often take it upon themselves to arrange for a suitable match and kids have to figure out everything for themselves.
Whereas , in the Indian culture its an affront to the parents if the kids take such liberties , like saying they are not needed. Indian parents are programmed to arrange everything for their kids. Its their purpose in life to watch out for their kids , even when they are grown up. And I dont think thats a bad thing.

Mandirs do turn out to be social places along with being Spiritual. Thats how they have always been - people come as much to pray as to compare who has the bigger car or whose girl is ready to be wed or just sit and chat.

Its upto us what we want to stress on in our mandirs - values of simplicity, trust, personal and social excellence , spirit of a team and a family.

We are concerned that a mandir remain a place which inspires the best in us and not become just another joint . Thats why the dress codes and the attitude checks. They help people to see model grown ups and help Kids to GROW UP .
_________________
Namaste
Manurbhava

Ayush · Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 5:13 pm Post subject:

Sunita · Arya Ladies Forum Moderator Joined: 24 May 2006 Posts: 567

Namaste Ayush and Mitraji,

After reading this article i was wondering alot of questions.

(1) Who is a hindu?
(2) What makes a girl a hindu girl different than any other girls in this world?
(3) What is the general criteria of a good person etc.
(4) Why is it so important to dress a certain way. What matter mosts? who we are in the inside or what we look like on the outside.?

etc etc

Whats so wrong about dressing up and look good? We are women.....we invent fashion and also makes our grandmother feel young.
_________________
Namaste!

(1) If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it. William Arthur Ward

(2) The self is not something ready-made, but something in continuous formation through choice of action.John Dewey:

(3) Andre Gide: Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it.

Ayush · Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 6:27 am Post subject: